Fart Walk
You can’t make this stuff up. Y’all see this one in your social media or news feeds?
Apparently, a woman, a 70 year-old author of seven cookbooks who is very much into fiber, has coined the activity and term, Fart Walk.
She and her husband eat a lot of fiber apparently, and so they go for a walk about 60 minutes after dinner to release all that built up gas from their meal.
In her words, “And you fart when you walk so that’s why I named it that.”
This has gone viral on TikTok. I don’t have TikTok, but this is what it says in my news feed. This is not enticing me to go on TikTok and only confirms my suspicions about that app. Maybe the Chinese really are trying to undermine us and take over the world as we mindlessly scroll through time-sucking posts. Oh wait. That sounds a lot like Meta. But I digress.
Now, lest we dismiss this completely out of hind, er, I mean, hand, she does claim that going on a Fart Walk can help ease any after-eating bloating, reduce GERD/acid reflux, and your chance of developing Type 2 diabetes. She also says, “The science is, when we sit down after dinner your gut doesn’t work well. You actually have to move it to get all that gas out.”
Seems to me, that these days, you can take any activity that maybe isn’t all that desirable and give it a catchy or cool name, and repackage and rebrand it as something acceptable. Cool, even. Kind of like what they did with Girl Dinner (see previous blog post for that one). And now we have Fart Walk. Not sure what the impact this will have on Hot Girl Walk.
And what’s next? Belch Jog?
I have to tell you though, that this one, Fart Walk, really hit close to home.
Because you see, this is an activity that Ernie was already doing. Call him an Early Adopter. I’d have thought he perfected it until this woman came along and is now making it socially acceptable.
On our after-dinner walks, as Ernie would be tooting away, I would be like, “Have you no shame? How many farts do you have in you for goodness sake? How are you still farting? Do you have to enjoy it so much? Look out, neighbors at one o’clock, try and hold it in please!”
Ernie would respond. “Hey, it’s not good to keep all that in. Gotta let it out.”
Almost verbatim with what Fart Walk lady said. But he didn’t coin a term and make a Tik Tok video of it. If a fart is let loose in the woods and there is no one there to hear it, is it still a fart?
I was kind of grateful at least that this activity was happening outside of the house. Zero risk for a Dutch Oven incident. The Silent But Deadlies are also somewhat mitigated. That depends on which way the wind is blowing. I’m all about silver linings, lol.
Ernie has found absolution and validation. His fart walks are now Fart Walks. They are normalized, accepted, and encouraged even—for the good of your health! Let it rip!
Me? I don’t see myself participating in this one. My gas likes to escape through the other hatch. I need someone to make Belch Walk cool.
Meanwhile, if you happen to see us out walking in the neighborhood after dinner, you might want to keep a safe, social distance. Got any N95 masks handy? Forewarned is forearmed, after all.