Kayaking

Ernie, who retired a year ahead of me, took up kayaking.  His sister introduced him to it, and he and she and sometimes a couple of her friends would go kayaking on the various lakes and creeks in the area.

Ernie encouraged me to try it.  I thought it sounded like fun.  Why not give it a try?  I’m an outdoorsy person, right? At this point, thoughts of our ill-fated ski trip (see previous blog post) should have come to mind and raised some red flags. 

Like the Robot in Lost in Space who would warn Will Robinson about impending danger, my internal warning system should have kicked in with a “Danger, Mary Lunghi, Danger”. 

But I blithely gave him the go ahead to purchase two kayaks.  He was clearly into it, I thought I would enjoy it as well, and it would be a fun, outdoorsy activity for us to do together in retirement.

Ernie researched kayaks and decided that the Oru was the way to go.  The plus with these kayaks is that they fold up, like origami, and make for easy storage and transport. 

However, when I saw these things, I thought it was questionable at best.  The material looked like the plastic, corrugated white mail bins that the post office uses.  I wondered how steady and safe these would be on the water.  I mean any form of transportation that can fold up like origami can’t be safe and reliable, can it?

I was about to find out. 

There were six of us that day we decided to do some kayaking on Lake Nockamixon.  It was me, Ernie, Ernie’s sister and her husband, and her friend, and her friend’s partner.

The friend and her partner were very experienced kayakers.  My sister-in-law and her husband were pretty good kayakers.  Ernie had had more than a few kayaking experiences by that point.

I was the only newbie to kayaking- that was my first excursion.

There was a pretty good, stiff wind blowing that day.  We decided to kayak with the wind at our back, hoping that by the time we returned, the wind would have died down. 

If you can figure out the direction this story is going, you can guess that that never happened.

Prior to going out on the kayak, Ernie and his sister recommended I watch some YouTube videos on how to kayak.  So, I did.  I even practiced the motion at home with the oar.  Use your core, the videos said.  Don’t just use your arms/shoulders as that will tire you out.  They demonstrated the proper motion and how to use the torque of that motion.

I was prepared! Let’s do this. 

Step one.  Get into the kayak.  Ok.  I have to get wet for that.  Gotta step into the water and then into the boat.  Ok.  The water is a little cold. No bigee.  I got this.  I stepped into the kayak. It wobbled.  Ernie helped me to keep it steady as I settled into it. 

I was in a near state of panic already and we hadn’t even left the shoreline.

I felt like the whole kayak was just going to tip over.  I was afraid to move for fear of it tipping.  So, I just sort of sat there and let the current start to pull me while I tried to get my “sea legs”.  Perhaps in this case it should be called, “kayak butt”.

Everyone is on the water now.  I have to start paddling.  Calling to mind the videos, I attempted to do what they demonstrated.  As soon as I rotated my core however, the kayak shifted and nearly dumped me into the water. 

Ok, scratch that.  I am clearly not doing that right.  We’ll just have to go with the arms and shoulders and hope for the best.  I kept my body completely rigid so as to not have the kayak tip and just used my arms and shoulders to paddle.

I thought I was doing passably ok until a motor boat passed by creating a wake.

I looked with horror at the oncoming wake and had no idea what to do.  I yelled out, “Help! Wake! What do I do?”

The expert kayaker in the group called back to me, “Turn your kayak into it!”

Was she kidding me? I could barely paddle in a straight line and now she wanted me to actually steer in a particular direction?  The wake was coming on quick.  I had no time to think.  I started paddling in what I hoped was the right direction to get my kayak pointed at the wake. 

I succeeded! Up and over the wake I went.  I paddled some more to get my kayak pointed in the right direction, to continue down the lake.  However, more motor boats sped by creating more wakes, meaning I had to keep negotiating them.  This was becoming tiring and it was still scary every time.

We are about only 20 to 30 minutes into this when I realized I had had enough.  I was not really enjoying the experience all that much.  My arms and shoulders were tired (how come I couldn’t figure out the proper torque technique?!). 

I asked Ernie if he was ok if we turned back. 

“Of course,” he said, completely understanding how I was feeling.  

“We are heading back! See you at the winery!,” we called out to the others.

We had planned to visit a winery that was near the Lake, post our kayaking excursion.  The fact that I had been more looking forward to the winery visit than the kayaking should have been a clue to me about my enthusiasm for kayaking.

Ernie and I maneuvered our kayaks around so that we were paddling back towards where we started from.

The wind was at our front.  I was paddling.  And paddling.  And paddling.  Ever see a cartoon of a bigger person holding a smaller person at bay? The bigger person has their hand on the smaller person’s head and the smaller person is windmilling their arms trying to get at the bigger person. 

That was how I felt.  The wind had me pinned. I was windmilling away with my oar. And I felt like I had gone nowhere.   The wind was so strong that it was almost impossible to make any headway. 

“Ernie!,” I called out in panic.  “Are we going anywhere? I don’t feel like we are going anywhere? Are we even moving?”

“Yes,” he yells back.  “We are.”

“But the scenery all looks the same! Are you sure we are moving forward?,” I asked, trying to keep the anxiety from boiling over.

“Yes, we are.  Just keep paddling,” he responded.

Just. Keep. Paddling.  Thoughts of ‘how will I ever get out of here’ popped into my mind. I wondered if there were lake patrol safety people, like they had on ski slopes.  Would someone be able to rescue me?  Because I was starting to think that rescuing would be necessary.

My poor paddling technique was a huge detriment by that point.  My arms and shoulders were really, really tired.  If I tried to rest for a minute though, any gains I had made would slip away.  Like when you stop walking on a treadmill, and it just carries you backward.  Stop paddling, and suddenly you are drifting backward.

I was near tears.  I didn’t know how I could make it back.  What had taken us only 20 to 30 minutes to head out, was now an hour or more trying to get back.  It was taking so long that I wondered if we had overshot it.  I also considered whether we could just pull over anywhere and get out.  Ernie kept assuring me we hadn’t overshot it and we were almost there and kept giving me the encouragement to keep on going.

Finally, we spotted the area where we had launched.  With every tired, aching muscle in my arms and shoulders, I paddled my way there.  Ernie was ahead of me.  He was standing in the water to grab my kayak as soon as I got close enough to pull me the rest of the way in and help me out.

We folded up our origami kayaks, dried off, and made our way to the winery.

This part was clearly the highlight of my day.  It was a pretty, sunny day.  We got our wine and sat outside waiting for the rest of our group to return.  We wondered how long it would take them to make it back given how strong the wind was.

Ernie’s sister and her husband showed up about 45 minutes later.  They said they didn’t go much further after we turned around and decided to head back. 

“The wind,” they said, “was crazy!”  “It was so hard!”.  “How did you guys manage?,” they asked.

“Don’t ask,” I said jokingly.  “We are here now, praise be to God.” 

Then, about an hour or so later, the very experienced kayaking couple returned.

“Oh my gosh,” they said, “That was crazy! We never experienced a wind like that! We had gone out kind of far and when we turned around to come back, it was taking us forever!  We didn’t think we’d ever make it back!”  “We were worried for you, Mary! How did you manage? Good thing you turned around when you did!”

We all enjoyed our wine and a good laugh and for me, total relief that that excursion was over.  I was beginning to doubt my outdoorsy persona I thought that I was.  Unless by outdoorsy it meant sitting outside having a nice glass of wine.

I decided to give kayaking one more try.  This time in a smaller creek vs a huge lake.  No motor boats or wakes to contend with.  4 feet deep water instead of 40 feet.  On a day with no wind.  Easy, peasy. 

As we were paddling though, I started seeing dead fish floating on the water.  Some of the water looked a nasty green. 

As we exited the creek, that’s when I saw the sign.  It read:

Danger.  Toxic algae.  Avoid getting wet or going in the water.  Shower immediately.

That was it.  Stick a fork in me.  I was done. 

The Outdoorsy Gods had spoken. 

“You are not one of us,” they said.  “Leave us now.  No more kayaking, skiing, biking, camping for you.  Go back to your books, writing, photography, and lunching with friends.  Do not attempt any more outdoorsy activities or risk further injury to your life and limb.  It is not for you.  Know who you are and embrace it.”

Right.  Message received.  And with that, I curled up on the sofa under a cozy blanket, cup of tea on the table next to me, and a book in hand. 

The Indoorsy Gods welcomed me back.