Tipping

Used to be that the protocol for tipping was very clear.  First of all, tipping was mainly for when you dined in a restaurant.

You would dine in at a restaurant where a waiter or waitress, waited on you.  They reviewed the menu with you, answering any questions you might have, they described the specials.  Then, they took your order and gave it to the chefs in the kitchen who prepared your food.  The waitstaff carried your order out, sometimes requiring great feats of balance and placed it on the table before you.  They periodically checked in with you to see if everything was ok, refilled a drink, and repeated the process should you desire dessert.

For all that effort and attentiveness, we tip them.  We also tip them because generally they are not paid well by the restaurant and so they rely on the tips to earn an income.

There wasn’t even a question of do I tip or not.  If you didn’t tip you were a cretin lower than the lowest amoeba on the food chain of life.  Unless of course you got horrible service.  Then instead of leaving a tip you can even leave a complaint.

The amount to tip was also not in question.  10% for so-so service. 15% for good service.  And 20% or more for excellent service.

This then served as a motivator for the waiters and waitresses.  They knew the amount of tip they would get was correlated to how well they served their customers.  Someone once told me that the word tip was an acronym for To Insure Promptness.  I have no idea if that is true or not. But it makes sense.

However,  Covid came and disrupted this whole protocol.  For one thing, restaurants were closed during quarantine, and some people were reluctant to dine indoors once the quarantine lifted.  The pandemic disrupted the food industry and a lot of places went out of business.

This gave rise to a lot of ordering out, either through a site like Uber Eats or picking it up yourself.  Suddenly, we are being asked to leave a tip when no real service was necessarily given.  And while the protocol for tipping while dining in remains the same, there are no clear protocols for ordering out.

For example, I periodically pick up a dozen bagels from Manhattan Bagel.  There’s a little screen there for me to pay and it asks me if I want to leave a tip.  It will have options for 10%, 15%, 18%, 20%, or Other.  Leave a tip? For what, I wonder? You are just putting 13 everthing bagels (love the baker’s dozen) into a brown bag and handing it to me. You punch a couple of things into the register.  I pay electronically.  You don’t even have to break any change or cash back.

The first time I experienced this I hesitated.  It felt not right to be asked to leave a tip. But I am standing right there in front of the person.  I would feel like that lower than the amoeba cretin if I don’t tip.  Worse, the thought of “ if I don’t tip what will they do to the food” thought occurs to me.  Maybe they’ll drop a bagel or two on the floor before putting it into the bag.  Take that you cheapskate they will think to themselves.

Once I committed to a tip, I had to think about how much to tip.  I mean, there are no protocols here, as previously noted.  There is no understanding of what amount of tip to leave based on quality of service.  Did they super efficiently place the bagels in the bag?  Did they remember to ask if I wanted a freezer bag? Did they use a plastic glove while handling the bagels?

All of this goes through my head in a nano second as I try to surmise what is the proper tip.  I opt for the 10% option.  No real reason for it other than to tip more seems ludicrous, since to tip at all seems ludicrous, and to not tip at all felt rude and might even result in a dropped bagel or two.

This happens nearly everywhere now.  Except for Wawa and Chick-Fil -A.  Thankfully.  I can order a Wawa Tuna Shorti Hoagie for $6.50 and pay only $6.50.  For now.  Who knows? It might not be long before they too jump on the tip bandwagon.  Especially once they realize it’s easy money.

I read recently that for the food delivery apps, like Door Dash and Uber Eats, they tell you that if you don’t tip they won’t guarantee that your food will be warm and that your order will sit for a bit while they get the orders of those who do tip. 

Now, delivery is a service that should get tipped.  They are picking up your food and driving it to you, and doing it as quickly as possible.  They should absolutely be tipped.  But the fact that they are stating that if you don’t tip you will be penalized seems a bit crazy to me.  I mean, that is supposed to be the service they are providing in the first place.  Why else would anyone use your service if it’s not going to come timely and warm?  Something is out of whack here.

So, to tip or not when ordering/taking out food? It seems that this shift is here to stay.  I ordered take out Mexican food the other night.  A Chipotle type place that just opened.  I ordered online for in-store pickup. Got to the online checkout where it asked for a tip.  I didn’t even hesitate. I have adapted, albeit grudgingly. The lowest amount they suggested was 15%.  I clicked on it. 

In the absence of any formal or official guidelines here, I’ve developed my own.  It’s called To Insure No Spitting in My Food. Hit the lowest suggested amount.  Anything lower and there are no guarantees of anything at all.