Unwanted House Guests, Chapter 4

Had really hoped to close the book on Unwanted Houseguests at Chapter 3.  No such luck.

A couple of weeks ago, Ernie called out to me, saying, “Hey, Mary! Come here a sec.  Does it smell in here to you?”

He was in the downstairs powder room.  I wanted to yell back, “I don’t know, did you just go?”

However, I assumed this was not a case of typical bathroom odors as he is not in the habit of asking me if it smells in there.  Though I kinda wish he would.

I approached the bathroom trepidatiously.  I leaned my head in and whoa!

“Yes,” I answered.  “It smells like dead fish.”

Ernie immediately started examining the toilet looking to see if anything was wrong with it, any leaks, etc. 

Nothing.

We couldn’t even identify from where exactly in the bathroom the odor was coming.

How to solve a mystery? Ask Google.

Detective Google came back with a possible sewer leak somewhere.  Even if we couldn’t see it, it said, there could be a leak and it would require a plumber going in there with a camera to find it.  Detective Google also said that these fumes could be toxic to one’s health.  Great.  A possible situation that not only could be very expensive to rectify but could also kill us.  Terrific combo of possibilities.

And of course, it was a Saturday.  Do these things ever happen during a weekday? No way were we calling a plumber over the weekend.  We risked toxicity to save some bucks.  Mind you, I kept the door closed and thereby contained the odor to that room only.  And I slept with the window in our bedroom cracked just to be sure.

First thing Monday morning I called our usually reliable plumber.  Great guy.  However, he was of absolute no help this time around.

He asked, “Is there a visible leak?”

I answered, “No.”

He replied, “I can’t help you then.”

I asked, “What about a camera to go into the pipes to find the invisible leak?”

He answered, “I don’t have that equipment.  And anyway, my opinion is that it is an expensive waste of money.  My advice is just to wait a bit and see if it goes away.”

Ugh.  This will never do.  I mean, we are talking about possibly toxic fumes here.

Ernie to the rescue.  “Mary, I just remembered that I bought this insurance awhile ago for external pipe leaks.  I’ll call them.”

That plumber arrived a couple of days later.  A very nice and jaunty guy.  As soon as he poked his head into the bathroom he said instantaneously, “Nope. Not a sewer leak.  Definitely not the odor of a sewer leak.”

Phew, I thought.  No toxic issues, yay! And no expensive camera work!

But wait.  What was it then?

“What that smell is, “ he said quite confidently and rather too happily if you ask me, “is a dead animal.  Something got into the wall here and died.  It is now decomposing and that is what you are smelling.  It will smell for a couple of weeks until it is fully decomposed.  Then the odor will be gone.  You will have a dead carcass in your wall, but it will be odor free.”

He did suggest that we could open the vent or the fan and see if we can locate it and remove it.

Yeah, no, we’ll pass on that.  We’ll let sleeping, er, rotting rats/mice/squirrels/birds lie, er die, er decompose.

We thanked the jaunty plumber and were grateful to at least have the mystery solved. We actually had considered that as a possibility but dismissed it initially because there was no exterior wall. This was not the exterior wall that unwanted house guest from Chapter 2 had been residing in. The powder room was an interior room.  But the plumber said that didn’t matter. 

Ok.  Now we just had to live with the smell for a couple of weeks. We lit candles. We put in air fresheners.  Nothing worked.  I discovered something called Nature’s Air Sponge.  Amazing product.  That seemed to help, actually.

I avoided that bathroom like the plague.  Which, if we ever came across the decomposing body would probably cause the plague or some other horrible infection. 

After a couple of weeks went by though, I decided to brave it and tentatively peeked my nose in.  Ah! It’s gone! No more odor!

I’m leaving Nature’s Air Sponge in there for good measure.  I am back to using the bathroom. 

Now the only odors emanating from the bathroom are the kind easily remedied by lighting a match.  And are non-toxic. We think.