Babies R Us
Well, seeing as I just became a grandmother for the first time, babies are pretty much top of mind with me right now. So, let’s go with it.
I am a bit in awe and jealousy of the accoutrements available to new parents these days. Where were all these devices when I needed them 32 years ago?
The one in particular that is simply amazing is called the Snoo. Or, in my words, the magical bassinet.
The bassinet I used for my two kids was passed down to me from my mother-in-law. It was already like 30 years old by the time it got to me. I can tell you that not much technological advancement took place in bassinets between 1960 and 1991. They were what they were. A safe place to put your baby so they (and ergo you) could sleep and/or do things like go to the bathroom.
Fast forward however to the year 2024, and the simple, basic bassinet has gotten a significant upgrade. Magical status, as I have previously mentioned.
At a glance, the Snoo looks like a regular bassinet. Same shape, height, overall design. The first thing you notice though is that the sides are mesh. Breathable mesh. This helps eliminate the suffocation risk. Actually, every device for babies these days is emblazoned with warnings. Stroller, highchair, bouncy seat, you name it. Sewed right onto the fabric the warning statement is front and center pretty much telling you that if anything happens to the baby while you are using their product it’s your fault because well, they warned you. As if a new parent doesn’t have enough to worry about.
Ok, back to the Snoo.
The next thing you see is the baby wrapped in the Snoo swaddle bag that attaches to the sides of the Snoo. That baby is locked and loaded, and ready for take-off. Or nod-off, more appropriately.
The baby is strapped in because, here comes the magical part, the Snoo detects babies motions and cries and then starts to move and vibrate according to what the baby needs. The mattress starts to softly rotate left to right and back again. It plays a soft white noise. All to soothe baby.
In my day, that’s what the drying machine was for. Fussy baby that won’t settle and you’ve tried everything else? And by everything else, the options were holding baby, rocking baby, feeding baby, changing baby, and singing to baby. Once you exhausted those, you then elevated to level 2 which was baby in car seat on top of drying machine that’s been turned on. You of course are standing next to baby the whole time. And if that failed, level 3 was put baby in the car and go for a ride. If that failed, pour yourself a drink and call your mother. Grandmothers, like Snoo’s, have magical abilities.
The Snoo is so smart that it can evaluate the baby’s cries and movements and respond with Level 1 or Level 2 motion and sound. There is apparently a Level 3, but that is not for newborns. It can also know when to call it quits and determine that this baby just needs feeding.
This being the year 2024 and the era of apps, of course the Snoo comes with an app. It will chart how much time the baby has slept, how much they cried, or moved. It’s like a Fitbit but in bassinet form. The app does a whole bunch of other things too, but Amy already has an app for all those other things; tracking feedings, length of time on each boob, diaper changes, quantity of pee and poop, type/color of poop. The list goes on. Baby pass gas? There’s an app for that.
Now, how much would you be willing to pay for a magical bassinet? As you can imagine, it don’t come cheap. I mean, how do you even put a price tag on something that will help you achieve a few solid hours of sleep as new parents? Talk about a captive and desperate target audience. You pretty much have to take out a HELOC. But a few hours of rest for the weary? Priceless. Or very expensive. You decide. Smart parents who have friends who are also having babies are forming co-ops and sharing the costs. See how that extra sleep improves brain function?
The magical Snoo. Now if it could also figure out a way to change the baby’s diapers for you. That’d be a real game changer.