Self-checkouts

Welcome Guest Blogger, Dana! She’s got some interesting and hilarious observations about self-checkouts. Why don’t you self check it out?! Lol.

I know it says written by Mary Lunghi, but I have PTSD from setting up this Squarespace site that I just can’t go back and try to figure out how to change that to Dana. Hmm…sounds like another potential blog.

Over to Dana:

I’m here to talk about self-checkouts. I feel like there could be a buzzfeed survey asking, “What is your self-checkout personality?”

As for me, I am pro self-checkout. I’m usually pro anything I can do on my own. Order my overpriced coffee on the Starbucks app so I don’t have to wait in line to order in the store? Definitely. Schedule my doctor appointment online so I don’t have to call the secretary? Obviously. Pump my own gas? I didn’t grow up in New Jersey. Check out my own groceries so I don’t have to stand in line while the person in front of me writes out a check? YES PLEASE. You get the idea. But I’ve come to learn that not everyone shares my love of the self-checkout.

First, we have the crowd that doesn’t like self-checkout because they never took the time to learn how to use it. These people are like my co-workers who, when you send them a google doc, reply all to tell everyone “It doesn’t work.” No, it works. You’re just doing it wrong. The directions are pretty easy: You scan your item and put it in the bag. Then you click pay and you pay!

But for some I guess it doesn’t seem that easy. We have self-checkout at my place of part-time employment. (Yes, you read that right. What’s more millennial than needing a second job?)  You’re looking to check out your items. Your only choices on the screen are “Check Out” and “Exit” yet people will ask us what to press. After your items appear on the screen you click “continue.” It’s literally the only button available on the entire screen but somehow it causes confusion. I do believe this behavior goes along with people of a certain generation who are afraid to press a button in case they set off some sort of nuclear code within the technology they are trying to use. Not naming any names but I’ll just say Samsung TV. 

The “tried it and it never works for me” crowd. I will admit when the self check out first came out there were a lot of glitches. The bagging area wouldn’t weigh an item correctly or you’d remove something before you’re supposed to, sending the machine into a spiral of terror. But I think these glitches have gotten better. I rarely need to click the call for help button. But even if I do, I don’t mind because the machine says, “help is on the way!” and I imagine Mrs. Doubtfire leaping over tables to save me like I’m Pierce Brosnan choking on cayenne pepper. “Help is on the way, Dear!”

Then we have the “I’m not being paid to check out my own groceries” crowd. This is my generation. As if they are taking some moral high ground by refusing to use an object of convenience, and then blame it on the store trying to force them into unpaid labor. This crowd is also very close to the “machines are taking away human jobs” crowd. I feel like a normal checkout for me at the supermarket might take 3 minutes total. As egregious as it is for me to say, the federal minimum wage is $7.25/hour. So for 3 minutes of “work” to check out my own groceries, that means the store would owe me 36 cents. Before tax. For me, I’d gladly have the convenience of making sure all of my items ring up correctly and getting out of the store quickly. As for machines taking away jobs, I’m sure there is no shortage of other tasks the worker could be doing in a grocery store. There’s usually someone working the self-check anyway, making sure you didn’t “forget” about that soda under your cart.

As for me, I will actively seek out the self-checkout. I love getting my items rung up quickly, the line is usually shorter, and maybe most importantly, I don’t have to stare at the other lines moving quickly wishing “I should have gotten in THAT line! They’re almost done checking out and I’m waiting for Coupon Cindy ahead of me to fish all her coupons from the bottom of her purse!”

But I’m glad we can all have the choice of what works best for us. So I ask, what is your self check out personality?

 

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