No More Tulips

Ah! Spring time.  Or, as it is known around here, When the Tulips Get Eaten But Strangely Not the Daffodils Time.

I planted some bulbs a few years ago in the fall, ever so excited for them to arrive the following Spring.  I thought a mix of Daffodils and Tulips would be lovely.

That first Spring that they emerged I was ever so happy.  In fact, so much so, that I bought even more bulbs and planted more of them.

And that’s when I had realized I pushed my luck.

That following Spring, my tulips were decimated, before they even had time to fully grow.  They had fully sprouted their leaves and the stem was starting to grow.

At which point, they were chewed all the way down leaving only a raggedy leaf or two here and there. 

The daffodils, however? Untouched.

I supposed I should have been grateful for that.  But I was very curious as to why.  Pause on that for a sec.

My other curiousness was around which animal was the cause of said tulip destruction.  One does not have to be a rocket scientist to figure out that it was one or both of two animals: deer and/or rabbit.

Of which we have plenty here in the wilds of Suburbia. 

A little google research to find out how to keep Bambi and Thumper from eating your tulips sent us to Lowe’s for something called Liquid Fence Deer & Rabbit Repellent.  It should really be called Liquid Sh*t That Smells Like Rotten Eggs and Will Repel Anything With a Nose Within a 500 Yard Radius Repellent.

Upon closer examination of the ingredients in it, the reason it smells like rotten eggs is because it is in fact, rotten eggs. The first ingredient listed on the bottle is Putrescent Whole Egg Solids.  I am not making this up.  Not sure why they didn’t just list it as Rotten Eggs, but I guess they wanted to make it sound more scientific by calling it Putrescent Eggs. 

This is then followed by Garlic. Just in case the smell of rotten eggs in and of itself isn’t enough. Covering their bases, I guess.   We all know that garlic is very good at repelling Vampires and any prospective romantic encounters.  So why not deer and rabbits too?

They also throw in a tiny bit of Thyme Oil.  Hmmm, not sure what that is supposed to do but if it’s there to help offset the putrid smell, they are going to need more than 0.010% of it.

Does it work? Well, I suppose to be able to answer that question, one needs to apply it BEFORE Bambi and Thumper have their midnight snack. 

This year, for example, we waited too long before spraying the stuff.  Most of the tulips from my garden are now making their way through the digestive tracts of the deer and the rabbits as we speak.  This will be excreted a few days later and will help to fertilize the soil. The soil in which we will plant more bulbs to grow the next year for the deer and rabbits to eat.  It’s the Circle of Life. 

We did spray it on the one or two tulips that survived the late-night munchies attack and so far they are fully intact.  So, maybe it does work? Time will tell.

I was going to plant more bulbs this fall, but I have clearly learned to steer clear of planting any tulips and stick with just the daffodils.  I learned this through my keen powers of observation given the havoc wrought on my own garden with the tulips but not the daffodils. 

I then triangulated this data, as any good scientist/researcher will do, (any good scientist/researcher also uses terms like triangulate) by observing that no other garden in the neighborhood had tulips, only daffodils. And finally, to complete the trifecta, a google search to confirm that deer and rabbit love tulips but not daffodils because daffodils are poisonous to them.

Ah! Next Spring.  Or the time that will be known around here as Spray the Putrescent Eggs On Your Remaining Tulips BEFORE the Deer and Rabbit Start Snacking And Maybe, Just Maybe, You Will Be Able to Enjoy Some Pretty Tulips Time.