The Hazards of Dog Ownership
Ah! The joys of dog ownership. I know. The title of this blog is the hazards of dog ownership. Trust me. We’ll get there. But first, let us examine how wonderful our canine companions are before we move into the hazardous territory.
I suppose the first, last, and everything in between joy about having dogs, is unconditional love. Really, that does sum it up. Dogs love you without reservation, without any conditions or prerequisites necessary. And when you return their love, it’s like that love goes up mutually exponentially. I could list some of the other joys: how happy they are to see you when you come home or walk into a room, how they love to snuggle with you on the couch, give you kisses (being a germaphobe that kinda crosses both categories of joy and hazard), love to walk with you, play with you, and really just be with you-wherever you are and whatever you are doing. But unconditional love is the foundation.
And that’s a good and necessary thing because that will aid you through the hazardous parts. Ah, here we go. See how I did that? Nice segue into the meat of this blog.
Some of the hazards of dog ownership are really not all that hazardous. They are maybe more minor annoyances at best. Having to pick up their dog poop. Having to de-skunk them when they have that nocturnal encounter with said skunk. Having to corral them after they chew through their gentle leader so they can go attack that other dog walking by. Having turned your sofa cushion pillow into fluff. Having to take them for emergency surgery when that bully stick you bought for them to chew on to keep them busy during a blizzard ends up not being digested. Having to put in an electric fence when the regular, physical split rail/wire fence does not contain them. Having to turn the electric collar up to maximum strength as medium strength plus the physical fence does not contain them. When they figure out how to open the back door. Killing and eating squirrels and baby bunnies. Having to leave the dog park for the good of all the other dogs as your dog is riling them up. Not being able to send your kids to college because the vet bills are too much (just kidding with that last one. Kinda sorta).
These are all just some of the things we have experienced in our 34 years of having dogs as part of our family.
But it wasn’t until last week that I experienced what can truly be described as hazardous.
There I was, getting the house ready for Amy’s baby shower. I put all the dog blankets and beds into the washing machine. When I went to open the washer and put the things in the dryer, a cloud of dog hair swooshed out of the washer and enveloped me. I do not even know how that was possible given the items were damp. But there was just so much dog hair I guess that when I opened the door some force or other created enough lift for the dog hair that seemed to be floating in the washing machine, to launch into the air.
I did feel something go into my eye right at that moment. (You are tracking with me now, right? Seeing, pardon the pun, where this is going?). I stood still for a few seconds and blinked my eye a few times. I thought whatever it was, was gone. I didn’t feel anything. All good. Or so I thought.
A few hours later I started to feel something. I put a couple of Systane drops in my eye. That eye has had issues in the past from dry eye and I am supposed to use Systane drops 3 times a day. ‘Supposed to’ being the operative words. I just assumed it was some dry eye and the drops should do the trick.
It felt like it did. That is, until it didn’t. About two hours later, I was reviewing my baby shower to do list when I felt a sharp, stabbing pain. It felt as if there was a shard of metal in my eye. The pain was torturous. I tried blinking, rinsing it out with water, closing it. I asked Ernie if he could see anything (no, he couldn’t see anything). My eye was red, tearing. My nose was running (yes, your nose runs when your eye is in pain apparently). I did the only thing I could think of which was to call my eye doctor.
It was 8 pm, after office hours. I got his voicemail message which gave me a phone number to call if it was an emergency. Oh, this was an emergency for sure.
I dialed the number and a woman answered. She said, “Hello?” I thought that was an odd way for an answering service to pick up the phone, but I was in too much distress to reflect much on it.
“Hi, I am having an eye emergency and need to speak to the doctor,” I said.
I heard her then say, “Sweetheart, it’s one of your patients. She’s having an eye emergency.”
Ok, that’s either a really friendly answering service or something strange is happening here. I was in too much pain to ponder it though.
The doctor got on the phone and told me to meet him at the office in half an hour.
When I got there he asked me, “How’d you get my wife’s cell phone number?”
I replied, “That was the number on your voicemail.”
“Oh,” he said. “I guess I better fix that.”
I was just thankful his wife had answered the phone. And that the doctor made after business hours emergency visits.
He discovered that I had dog hair in my eye, up under the eyelid and that every time I blinked, they would scratch my eye. He said I had what looked like over 70 scratches on my cornea.
He turned my eyelid inside out, took a cotton swab and removed the dog hair. Many drops and a thorough eye wash later, he sent me home with some drops, ointment, and prescriptions.
My eye is healed now. But I am emotionally scarred. I was vacuuming the house in preparation for the party and the vacuum needed emptying. It was filled with dog hair. I handed it to Ernie and said, I can’t do this. I have PTSD. What if while I am emptying this into the trash the dog hair flies up into my eye? I can’t go through that again!
Which brings us back to the joys of dog ownership. That unconditional love trumps all. Even dog hair trapped in your eye giving you 70 scratches on your cornea. Might be a good idea though to look into getting a better dog brush. I heard the Furminator is pretty good.