Unwanted Guests

It appears that our bathroom has become a hotel of sorts for some unwanted guests.  Stinkbugs to be precise.

Sometime in the late fall/early winter, the first of these unwelcome lodgers ensconced themselves in our bathroom.

And it’s never more than one at a time.  It’s like somehow they send out a message saying, “this place is mine.  No one else may join me here.  This is a single room occupancy only.”

It’s my husband’s job to rid the bathroom of these freeloaders.  I made sure that went into the marriage contract.  Removal of all bugs, spiders, and pests of any sort shall be the responsibility of the husband.  Wife’s responsibility will be to identify and provide location of any said bugs, spider, and pests.  This may include speaking in a calm manner but most likely will be accomplished through shrieks and pointing to the location from at least three rooms away.

Here's where it gets interesting.  Every time Ernie removes one of these stinkbugs we get a reprieve where we are stinkbug-free for about a week.  Then, as if the stinkbugs saw a notice tacked up on a bulletin board about free lodging at chez Lunghi, another one moves in.  I can imagine the conversation amongst the stinkbug community.  “Hey, chez Lunghi is available.  Roger was there last I heard and he said they were pretty nice digs.  I guess he moved on.  I am going to go check it out!”.

You would think though, at some point, when none of their comrades ever returned, when that single occupancy room was constantly available, that maybe something was up.  The message going around the stinkbug community should have been, “Hey, whatever you do, stay away from chez Lunghi.  It might be tempting, but it seems like everyone who goes there never comes back and never seen nor heard of again.”

But no.  That word never got around. We must have “evicted” close to 20 stinkbugs by now.

The worst was the other night.

There I am, around 3 am having to go to the bathroom.  I never turn the light on when that happens as I attempt to make the 3 am bathroom run, in as close a state to sleep as possible.  All in effort to be able to more easily fall back to sleep. Eyes half-closed, I blindly feel my way to the bathroom.   I do my business and reach for the toilet paper.  As I unroll it, that’s when, by the light of the moon that was streaming in, my half-opened eyes saw the intruder.  Hanging out on the toilet paper.  The side of the roll. The rolling motion did nothing to disturb him.  He just went along for the ride.  Like it was the Loop di Loop roller coaster at Hershey Park.

My shriek, which you would think could wake the dead, did not wake Ernie.

Eyes wide open I run out of the bathroom, closing the door firmly behind me, and dive under the covers of the bed.

Ernie got the APB first thing in the morning.  Said stinkbug was gone by the time I had to go back in there.

The good news is now that the weather is warmer, the stinkbugs seem to be gone.

Either that or they finally got the memo on what happens to stinkbugs at chez Lunghi.