Day Drinking

Top o’ the mornin’ to ya! Seeing as we just celebrated St. Patrick’s Day this past week, day drinking is top o’ the mind with me.

These days, day drinking is defined as a couple of cups of hot tea in the morning and as close to 64 ounces of water as I can get.  And that about does it.  In the summer we can get a bit wild with it and have some unsweetened iced tea.  Maybe a lemonade. There might be perhaps a small glass of milk if I am eating a cookie. Thankfully, I have not yet reached the age where prune juice is de rigueur.

But that was not always the case.

Exhibit A:  The college years.

To be fair , in the college years there often was no delineation between day and night drinking.  It was pretty much round the clock.  Especially during football season.  One would break up the drinking between day and night with a well-timed power nap and a cheeseburger and fries.

Friday happy hours at the Rathskellar were a key day drinking event.  It was important when scheduling your classes that you made sure to not pick any classes after 1 pm, 2 pm at the latest on a Friday.  Otherwise that would seriously impact your day drinking.  Had to get started early on those cases of Rolling Rock ponies.

On football Saturdays, depending on game time, you could be up and at it as early as 8 am.  After a Friday happy hour at the ‘skellar, followed by a power nap and cheeseburger and fries, followed by Friday night drinking at another bar or a party, you were able to get in a slightly longer (but not much) power nap and an Egg McMuffin and hashbrown before that 8 am tap the keg game time tailgate.

St. Patrick’s Day though is a whole other level of day drinking. It’s in a class by itself.  It’s probably THE master class of day drinking.

I remember one year at Penn State, I had to work on a paper that was due the next day.  Ernie and all our friends were headed to The Phyrst to start celebrating St. Patty’s Day.  Day drinking on Saint Patty’s Day does not wait until the afternoon.  Oh no.  It starts at 8 am where you line up at 7 am so that you can get a good table. 

I could not go as I had to work on this paper.  However, I was able to join up with Ernie and our friends that evening at somebody’s house party.  I was confined to only night drinking on that particular St. Patty’s Day. Which is to say, I had a lot of catching up to do.

When I saw Ernie, who was three, no make that 60 sheets to the wind, I thought, “dang I missed out on a good time.”  He had on loud, very loud, green plaid pants, So loud they were screaming.  What they were screaming I couldn’t really say.  Might have been, “I know these are the ugliest pants ever, but I have been drinking since 8 am, so who cares?” or “I am really rocking these pants, kiss me I’m Irish!”  This was accompanied by a kelly green top and a very large shamrock painted on his face. And a green plastic leprechaun hat with a feather in it. I immediately regretted doing the responsible thing by working on that paper.

After college the occasions for day drinking diminished significantly.  Responsible things like working a day job and starting a family kinda impacted opportunities for day drinking. Kinda.

Now that we are in our 60’s and retired, you’d think we’d be able to day drink again.  Oh no, my friend.  The body recoils at the very thought of it.  It’s such a waste of a perfectly good opportunity.  You have the time, but you don’t have the ability. Your mind tempts you though. It says, “Go ahead.  Just have a drink or four, it’ll be fun.” 

But your body, where the trauma of day drinking in your older age has firmly imprinted on you, responds back with “Really? You think that’s a good idea do you? You might feel good while it’s going down, but not when it’s coming back up and your whole body feels like it has been run over by a Mack truck and you are so dehydrated the Sahara Dessert seems like the Atlantic Ocean.”  Also, drinking in the daytime just hastens dinner and bedtime that much sooner. 

But there is still one occasion that no matter what, one finds the willpower and the stamina for day drinking.  You got it.  St. Patty’s Day.

This year, St. Patty’s Day was on a Monday.  I donned my Irish fisherman sweater and Ernie wore three layers of green shirts: one Grateful Dead green t-shirt with the dancing bears and shamrocks, a slightly heavier Eagles kelly green shirt over that, and a green Grateful Dead sweatshirt over that.  Depending on the temperature, he could peel off a layer or two and still be wearing the green. No plaid pants though. 

We had nothing on the guy at the bar wearing a green t-shirt that said Pat McCrotch. Wait for it. Got it? Lol. It’s a lot funnier after you’ve had a couple of beers.

We were at MaGerks where Tommy Conwell with his new band (not his Young Rumblers) were rocking out. We got the luck of the Irish when we scored seats at the bar at around 3:30 in the afternoon and got started on our first beers of the day.

We made it until about 7 pm when we headed home.  Couldn’t even make it long enough to see the Irish Dancers that were due up after Tommy. Promptly fell asleep by 8 pm.  No power nap needed.  Just a solid 12 hours of sleep.  And a deep detox for the remainder of the week. Toto, we are not in college anymore.

Day drinking.  Slaìnte!